


Coming of Age

by kaiaced



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Best Friends, Eventual Romance, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Teen Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-20
Updated: 2020-05-20
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:33:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24282904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaiaced/pseuds/kaiaced
Summary: [nishinoya yū x reader] In a spontaneous night drive miles away from home, Nishinoya realizes he's been chasing the wrong girl because of his strong desire to live his life like a protagonist from a '90s coming of age film.
Relationships: Nishinoya Yuu/Reader
Comments: 16
Kudos: 104





	Coming of Age

**► 7:21 PM**

"This isn't some sort of coming of age film, Noya! Stop acting like you're in one!"

**► 7:37 PM**

"I still don't know why she said that to me," Nishinoya said, his brows knitted together in deep thought. "She always enjoyed it when we would watch those films together..." He trailed off, his eyes traveling outside the car window, gazing at the cars whizzing by.

"Eh, Noya-san, what if she just pretended to like it for your sake?" Tanaka inquired, looking back from the front seat. The brunet blinked in surprise, before waving his hand dismissively at him, "Ryū! Don't be stupid! No way would [Name] do that," he replied as if he was assuring himself, "Besides, even if she did, don't you think I would've noticed by now?" He continued. Tanaka pursed his lips at his words and gave a short nod, turning his figure to the front seat.

"I guess you could say that."

Nishinoya sighed, placing his cheek on his hand worriedly as his eyes trailed on the city lights, his leg bouncing on the floorboard in anxiety, "Still..." he mumbled under his breath, "Why would she lash out on me like that?"

**► 7:22 PM**

Nishinoya stepped back instinctively, his eyes widened, mouth agape, and his heart creeping on his throat at his best friend's sudden outburst.

"Your life won't automatically get better when you get the girl! So please, enough with your bullshit and stop obsessing over trying to live your life like you're some protagonist in a '90s coming of age movie!" You yelled, your hands clenched to your sides, and a dark expression falling over your face.

You were too preoccupied with containing the flood of emotions coursing through your body to notice Nishinoya pulling off his jacket to cover your shivering skin.

"[Name], what... are you saying...?" He trailed off, his blue and gray jacket in his left hand, the other hesitant to reach out to you. "It's cold out here, let's get back inside the car," he muttered, careful for his voice not to break.

You bit your bottom lip in frustration as you stared at the pavement with tears welling in your eyes. Nishinoya's freezingly cold fingertips touched your bare left arm, causing you to flinch back in surprise and pride. Your eyes shot to him, with your right hand gripping on your left arm, trying to eradicate the lingering ghost of his touch. The tears blurring your vision made it hard to make up his expression, "I can't do this anymore, Noya," you spoke softly, your nails digging into your skin.

"What... are you saying?" He replied, the line between his brows growing deeper.

"[Surname]-san—" Tanaka's attempt to calm down the two were cut off by his sister's arm in front of him. Tanaka turned to his sister, who merely shook her head at him. 

"C'mon, [Name]. Let's just get back inside the car. We need to hurry up," Nishinoya asked, followed by a half-hearted chuckle to try and convince you. "We need to go before Kiyoko-san's dorm closes—"

"Go ahead without me."

"W-What?"

You marched your way to the white pickup van, opening the backseat door and snatching your jacket and backpack from the seat. "[Surname]-san, it's late!" Tanaka reasoned, brushing off his sister's hand away from him. "It's alright. I already have the route back home," you reply, wearing your jacket and backpack, still facing the car. Nishinoya clicks his tongue, "[Name]! What are you saying all of a sudden?!" Nishinoya bursts, his hands balled into fists by his sides. "We were alright just a minute ago!"

"Alright?!" You whipped your head to turn to him. "Just a minute ago, you were ready to tear down a good friendship for a girl!" You exclaimed, shoving your phone into your pocket. Nishinoya flinched at your words, his forehead creasing, and a frown stretched across his face. 

You shake your head in disbelief, letting out a sigh. You turn your heel, taking a few steps before looking over your shoulder, "I hope you get to her in time, Noya, Tanaka. Have a safe trip, Saeko nee-san," you call out, waving your hand in the air before leaving the deserted gasoline station.

**► 7:38 PM**

Saeko glances at the sulking male on the backseat through the rearview mirror, "Yū-chan, did she truly want to join you two here?" She asked, popping the lollipop out of her lips. Nishinoya removed his cheek from his hand and glanced at the female driving.

**► 1:19 PM**

"Eh, you're going to Tokyo? I thought we were going to watch Scott Pilgrim vs. The World?" You ask, watching the brunet fumble around his room. "Yeah. Ryū's going to meet with Kiyoko-san," he said, shoving an article of clothing inside his messenger bag. "What does that have to do with you? Moral support?" You quip, the corner of your lips turning into a smile. Nishinoya chuckled, zipping up the bag, "Yeah! You could say that."

Your smile faltered, looking at the boy from across his bed, "What about our movie marathon today?"

"Huh? Oh, we can watch some other time. We still have a week before classes resume," he replied, his hands on his hips.

"Yeah, but—"

"Come with us!" He exclaimed, a grin on his face, "Huh?" Your eyes blinked confusedly at him. He chuckled in response, taking his bag from his bed, and jogging towards the kitchen. You blinked absent-mindedly at the events, startled that he was gone by the second, "N-Noya!" You called out before following him in the kitchen.

"Come with us to Tokyo! We'll be back before tomorrow, and Saeko nee-san will drive us!" He said as he scoured inside the refrigerator. "Noya, I don't think my parents will like the idea of going to Tokyo with Saeko nee-san driving," you mumbled, chills running down your spine at the thought.

Nishinoya chuckled, pulling out cans of sodas from the fridge before turning to the counters and climbing on top of it. "I'll tell your parents then! Y'know they can't resist when I'm the one who asks permission for you," he said, grabbing a few bags of chips from the cupboard and tossing them over you.

You catch each bag that he throws at you, placing them on the table. You sigh, "Well yeah, that's because they trust that you won't bring me to any harm," you said as-a-matter-of-factly with your arms folded across your chest. The brunet jumped off the counter, standing on his feet with a grin on his face, "Don't worry, [Name]! I won't put you in any harm!" He declared, a thumb pointed to his chest.

**► 7:38 PM**

Nishinoya bit his bottom lip in worry, "I'm pretty sure she agreed to go with us today." For a few seconds of contemplation, a memory struck the male, "Oh!"

"Noya-san?" Tanaka asked, turning to him. Nishinoya slammed his forehead against the passenger seat, "N-Noya-san!?"

"Maybe she's mad because I didn't let her watch the romantic comedy the other day!"

► TWO DAYS AGO

"Let's watch The Breakfast Club again!" Nishinoya yelled, jumping off the couch. "Eh, Noya, we've watched the film a hundred times already! I already memorize the lines!" You complain, a pout evident on your face as he rummaged through the box of DVDs and CDs. "I never get tired watching this movie," he grinned, holding up the DVD case. [Name] tilted her head, "The Breakfast Club or Rebel Without a Cause?" She asked.

Nishinoya turned to her, "Rebel Without a Cause, of course!"

"Then why are we watching The Breakfast Club?" You ask, watching him open the case and place the CD on the player. "I like watching this movie with you."

The brunet missed the slight blush caressing your face, your face illuminated with the blue hues from the television. "S-Still! Can we watch something else? I want to see 500 Days of Summer. It's getting late too," you said, watching him go back to the couch.

"Maybe next time, [Name]!"

**► 7:39 PM**

His fingers grabbed his hair from his scalp, pulling it in frustration. "I should've let her watch that rom-com!" He rested his back on the seat and gritted his teeth. Tanaka frowned at him, "I don't think [Surname]-san would hold a grudge against you over a movie."

Nishinoya blinked at him confusedly, "Then why did she said those mean words to me?!"

Tanaka snickered, "Maybe because you puked on her pants earlier."

The brunet sat still for a second, startled at the information thrown at him.

**► 2:27 pm**

"Noya! I told you not to eat ice cream and drink soda after!" You yelled as you struggled to scoot to the farthest edge of the seat. "[N-Name]," he gagged, a hand on his stomach and over his mouth. "Oi! You better not puke, Yū-chan! This car is not ours!" Saeko exclaimed, continuing to drive recklessly. Tanaka guffawed at the chaotic sight, his hand gripping on his seatbelt. "Noya! Get away from me!" You exclaim, pushing his face away from you. He gagged again, startling you, "Saeko nee-san, don't you have a plastic bag there?" You asked, panic lacing your voice.

Saeko only laughed in response, "You think I have a plastic bag in a car that I don't own?"

"Nee-san! Don't laugh!" The reckless driving was adding to the woozy feeling building up on your head, your energy slowly draining from pushing your best friend away from you. Still, you did your best to shove him to the farthest right, for your pants to avoid getting vomited on.

But as soon as Nishinoya placed his trembling hand over your thigh in an act of desperation, you grew powerless. A bright red hue painted over your cheeks as he clutched on your skin over your pants, and your strength faded. With an additional sharp swerve from Saeko's driving, the male toppled over to your form and barfed all over your chest and thighs, resulting in a high-pitched scream from you and Tanaka bursting out in laughter.

**► 7:39 PM**

Nishinoya sat frozen in his seat, his mouth agape in embarrassment. "Noya-san...?" Tanaka called out.

The smaller male let out a drawled groan, burying his face in his hands. "[Name] is going to hate me for life!"

The siblings looked at each other confusedly, Saeko shrugged and turned her attention to the road, "I don't think she will hate you for life, man," Tanaka assured.

"Yeah? Prove it!"

"She told you that she expected that to happen, right? That's why she brought a change of clothes."

Nishinoya pouted, "Then why is she angry at me?!"

"Maybe because you don't pay your debt," he replied with a snicker. Despite being an obvious joke, Nishinoya froze in his seat, his breath hitching. "Noya-san?"

_***_

_"Hey, [Name]! Let's grab some popsicle on the way home!"_

_"Your treat?"_

_"Oh. Sure! Can you lend me money, though?"_

_***_

_"[Name]! Can I borrow 1000 yen?"_

_"What for?"_

_"Let's buy some matching keychains!"_

_***_

_"I'm hungry."_

_"We just ate, Noya-san."_

_"Let's stop by Sakanoshita Store."_

_"You have money?"_

_"...No."_

_"Fine. You owe me."_

_***_

Diving on the farthest side of the seat, he took his phone laying on top of his bag, and sat upright, endlessly tapping.

"What are you doing?" Tanaka asked, turning to him, bothered that his friend has a determined look plastered over his face. Nishinoya remained silent, the light on his phone reflecting on his face. His lips pursed, and eyes squinted at the bright screen.

"Noya-san...?"

"Gah! I owe [Name] 5,000 yen! And I'm not sure if that's all, I'm going to pay her now!"

"And how are you supposed to do that?" Saeko asked, biting on the candy of the lollipop.

"Saeko nee-san! Turn around, now!"

"Wha—"

"I'm going to pay my debt now so that she can be with us! Turn around, nee-san!" He exclaimed, taking his bag from the side and rummaging through it with his right hand. "Yū-chan! What are you talking about?!" Saeko asked, slightly irked at Nishinoya's demands. Meanwhile, the brunet tapped on his phone with determination written all over his face, "I'm calling [Name] now. Let's get her back! She's mad at me for not paying—"

"Noya-san!" Tanaka exclaimed, halting the smaller male from his rambling. "We need to catch Kiyoko-san's dorm before it closes!"

"We can't let [Name] go home alone!"

"Then why didn't you stopped her earlier?!" Tanaka turns to him, his forehead creasing. "Oi, don't start a fight again, you two," Saeko firmly said, looking at them through her peripheral vision.

Nishinoya clicked his tongue, looking at the side. "I didn't know why she got mad at me, alright? Now let's get back to her. I can't leave her alone—"

"You seriously think she's mad at you for not paying her debt back?" Tanaka sighed, looking at the road in front of them.

"Well, that's what you said!"

"Think, Noya-san!"

"Then she must be mad at me for puking on her, or for not letting her watch the movie she liked, or for letting her join us here. I don't know!"

"Noya-san, she's not going to be angry at you for those shallow things!"

"Then what!? What is she so mad about when we were just talking?!"

Tanaka heaved a breath, the car suddenly falling silent except for the sounds of the air conditioner and the engine. Nishinoya bit his bottom lip, his fists clenching on his sides.

**► 7:09 PM**

You only left for a second to answer the call from your worried mother. She told you that it's getting late and convinced you to go home, even sending you the route and train you'll take. No details left out. However, you assured her that you're safe with the Tanaka siblings and Nishinoya. Telling her that you just need to help the younger Tanaka with his current dilemma.

You're on a spontaneous road trip to Tokyo to visit your upperclassman, Kiyoko Shimizu, in her new dorm. The third-years graduated a few weeks ago, and she has already traveled to Tokyo for college a few days ago. And just the other day, Tanaka has decided to be expressive of his feelings towards the girl. After years of chasing after her.

Nishinoya decided to accompany Tanaka, boasting that he's the best friend that anyone could find. But you know it's more than coming along with Tanaka and helping him express his feelings. You know it's about Nishinoya's infatuation towards Kiyoko as well. You are aware that the two would have to sort out their feelings.

And you know it's immature—fighting your friend over a girl. But you could also understand their situation. After all, you have been hiding your infatuation towards your best friend, Nishinoya.

You sigh over the line, your fingertips massaging your temple, "Mom, thank you for the route but I promise you that I'm safe over here," you assured. 

_"Have you not reached your destination yet? Where are you now?"_ Your mother asked over the line.

You glance over the location, "We're currently on a gasoline station somewhere around Tokyo." Your eyes darted towards the brightly lit convenience store on the other end of the gas station, seeing the blurry figure of Saeko passing through the aisles with a basket on hand. Then, the shouting of Tanaka filling the car with gas caught your attention. Nishinoya cackled at his reaction with his arms clutched around his stomach. You smile softly at the male, your cheeks brimming a light rose color at the sight of him grinning from ear to ear. He turned to you and you felt your cheeks flare up for a second before he jogged towards you.

"Is that your mom?" He mouthed, pointing at the cellphone pressed against your ear. You nodded, "She's getting paranoid," you mouthed. He gave you a soft smile as he stretched open his hand, urging you to give him the phone. You glanced at him for a second, "Hey mom, Noya's going to talk to you, alright?" You said over the line before handing your phone to the male. 

_"Nishinoya-kun?"_

"Hi, [Surname]-san! I'm with [Name] right now," he glanced at you before traveling on the other side of the white pickup van.

"Noya—"

"Oi, [Surname]-san," Tanaka said to you as he placed the pump nozzle back to its place, "I'm just going to the convenience store with nee-san," he continued, pointing at the establishment. You nodded in reply before jogging towards Nishinoya. 

"Noya!" You called out, a hand placed on the rear of the car. You see him sitting on the curb and he shot a glance at you, smiling, "Yes, [Surname]-san. I ensure you that I will take her back home safely. Yes, I promise. You can count on me, [Surname]-san!" He said over the line. You sat beside him, "Alright, [Surname]-san, would you like to talk to [Name]?" He asked. For a second, he handed you back your device.

"Hello, mom?" You spoke, pressing your phone to your ear. _"Hey, sweetie. I talked to Nishinoya-kun, he's a nice kid, no?" Your mom sang over the line and you can make up the smile on her face, "Anyway, you kids stay safe on your trip, okay? If you change your mind or get tired just ask Nishinoya-kun to bring you home. He promised me to always be on your side and to bring you home safely. If you have any problems just message me, alright?"_

You shot a glance at Nishinoya beside you who shot you a cheeky grin. You shook your head with a disbelieving smile at him, you turn your gaze to the pavement, unable to stand seeing your best friend smiling at you. A faint blush painted over your cheeks as you said your goodbye to your mom. 

When you hung up, the two of you sat on the curb, silence filling the space. Your eyes traveled to the cherry blossoms situated in front of a tall building across the road, the soft breeze of spring kissing your skin. The bright lights from the gasoline station illuminated the road alongside with a few street lamps brightening the way. You hugged your knees closer to you for warmth, too comfortable to get your jacket laying inside the car. You glanced at Nishinoya who was staring hard at the cherry blossoms engulfed in darkness.

A twinge of pain passed through your heart as you continued to gaze at him. You've been in love with this male for years now, and you still couldn't muster up the courage to confess your feelings to him. How could you confess to him when he would always voice out his affection towards your upperclassman, Kiyoko? You can't steal away that admiration from him, and you can't ruin your friendship over your feelings. You'd rather keep this to yourself and stay by his side rather than voicing your endearment towards him and having to love him from afar. And besides, he's going places with his skill and dream in volleyball, he can't possibly have space in his life for someone who might just get in the way.

It's better like this, spending days and nights as friends, you often assure yourself.

You pursed your lips and followed his gaze, sitting in tranquility.

"Y' know this sort of reminds me of Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist," Nishinoya spoke up, breaking the silence. You rested your head on your knees and turned to him who has his eyes glued on the cherry blossom trees, "Really? How so?" You asked him.

"Well, for starters, we're driving all night."

"Mmhmm."

"And we're roaming around Tokyo just like in the movie."

"Uh-huh."

"And we get to listen to good music!"

You softly chuckle at his enthusiasm, "Of course we listen to good music, we made that playlist after all," you say, your head still resting on top of your knees. "Yeah. That '90s pop-punk playlist is perfect for nights where you're like in a coming of age film," he mumbled, his eyes almost sparkling as he stared at the cherry blossoms falling off the branches. "You do know that Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist is not a coming of age film, right?" You said, a smile stretching your face with your brow cocked. He let out a small frown for a second before snickering, "Who cares! That movie is good. It has some good romance," he replied, eliciting a giggle from you.

With your eyes closed, you didn't notice the small blush on Nishinoya's cheeks when he heard you giggle, gazing at you with loving eyes. "I doubt that the romance in that movie is better than The Spectacular Now," you replied, opening your eyes and hugging your knees closer to you. Nishinoya whipped his head back to the trees to avoid getting caught with a pink tint on his cheeks. "Yeah. That movie is great," he managed to reply.

Silence filled the space again and you can tell Nishinoya is deep in thought. You bit the inside of your cheek as you gazed longingly at your best friend, investing your time in every curve and edge on his face. The small details ingrained on his skin—each freckle, mole, scar, and blemish connected creating constellations that tell stories of his hard work in volleyball and his past. The bags underneath his eyes whenever he smiled showing, and you know it's all because of the nights you shared finishing dozens of coming of age movies that he adored. His eyes would always sparkle with fondness and adoration when you two watched those films.

"Hey, you know what reminds me of the girl from The Spectacular Now?" He spoke, and you removed your head from your knees, turning your head to the cherry blossom trees across you. "Her name is Aimee, right?" You ask and he nods, "What reminds you of her?" You ask him, taking a glimpse of him at the corner of your eyes.

You never saw that adoration in his eyes when he looked at you. 

He lightly chuckled under his breath, "She sort of reminds me of Kiyoko-san," he said in a soft voice, his gaze trailing to the pavement. Your breath hitching upon hearing those words.

You always saw the fondness in his eyes even when he is merely talking about Kiyoko. 

"H-How so?" You asked, controlling your quivering lips. 

"Well... Aimee is nice, just like Kiyoko-san. And she's very smart too. Although Kiyoko-san doesn't show it very often, I know she is caring too, just like how Aimee took care of her boyfriend in the movie," he replied, the shine in his eyes evident with every word he lets out.

Your hand rests on the hem of your skirt and slowly drifts on top of your thighs. You gulped as your fingernails clawed on your skin, letting out the frustration that can't muster up in words. "Really? I-I didn't notice that..." You trailed off, followed by a soft chuckle to hide the lingering pain in your voice.

He nodded, "But Kiyoko-san sure is prettier than all the other girls I've met," he muttered as if he was scared someone might hear him.

But you heard him loud and clear as day.

"She's just a goddess, y' know? And I understand how boys and girls would come up to her every time. She's just... wow," he said, the fondness in his voice apparent and a smile stretched on his face. 

And you've lost count with how many times you've heard this, during lunch, after volleyball practice, on the way to school, even on nights where you two are supposed to watch movies together. It's almost as if you memorized his line already. Whenever Tanaka is joining you two on movie nights, Tanaka would pick up your silence whenever Nishinoya let out strings of compliments towards Kiyoko. Even Tanaka sent you a pitied look and refused to join Nishinoya on his complimenting session. 

"Yeah, Noya, I've heard that plenty of times from you already," you replied, letting out a fake chuckle. He laughed in reply, "Sorry, sorry, I just can't help it."

"It's like you're in love with Kiyoko-senpai or something," you chuckle helplessly, making a joke out of the pain in your heart. You were expecting a reply from him, something along the lines of 'No way, I just like her!'

But you were met with silence. 

You turn to him, "...Noya?" 

His eyes were holding the same determination he had during an intense volleyball match, one where he showed 100% of his abilities. You noticed his fists balled to his side. A shock of fear ran down your system, you furrowed your brows at him. This is the moment that you feared the most, him realizing that his feelings for Kiyoko are running deep. You tried to calm your pacing heart, taking steadied breathing as you waited for his reply.

"Tonight, I'm going to confess my feelings for her," Nishinoya declared, his arms pressed on the sides of his knees with his fingers intertwined on each other. You frowned at him, "That's not part of the plan."

"Most decisions made by the protagonists from coming of age films are not planned, [Name]," he replied bluntly. Your mind raced to different scenarios, trying to pick out what's best to stop him from expressing his feelings. You were too scared to let him slip away from your life.

This is unfair.

You loved him first.

"The plan is Tanaka goes to Tokyo and we accompany him, we give him the emotional support that he needs, and he confesses to Kiyoko-senpai. Whatever the response Kiyoko-senpai will give him, we will be there for him," you said, trying to sound logical and pushing your feelings away.

He merely nodded, "Yeah. He can still do that. That's what side characters in coming of age films also do."

The crease between your forehead deepens, "Then what about your best friend? Tanaka is your best friend right? Would you let a girl ruin your friendship?" 

"Well, whoever Kiyoko-san picks, then the other male should just accept it. He's the one Kiyoko-san picked, after all. The loser should just suck it up," he replied, shrugging, not even bothering to answer your question straightforwardly. 

"What about Tanaka's feelings?" You ask him, your fingernails digging in your skin. You swore it would leave marks later. Nishinoya turned to you, "Then what about mine?"

You froze in your seat. Is this guy really talking about his feelings for a girl? 'What about mine?' Is he serious? He never even considered Tanaka's feelings or your feelings for the matter! 

"Nishinoya, calm down. Try to be reasonable for once. Tanaka would be hurt if he found out that you're planning to confess alongside with him," you explained, your patience wearing thin. You removed your nails from your skin and clenched your fists in frustration.

"I am reasonable. I've been thinking about this for a long time now. Whenever we watch movies, I always wonder how I would confess to Kiyoko-san."

You feel your chest tighten at his words.

Whenever we're together, all he thinks about is Kiyoko-senpai?

"And I would always think that I want to do it like how Lloyd did it in the movie Say Anything. He's holding up a boombox to serenade to Diane even though her father doesn't approve of Lloyd. I want that to happen," he replies, your frown only grows deeper. "But unfortunately," he chuckles, "I don't have a boombox, and don't you think that movie is like Kiyoko-san and I's love story? She's just perfect, there's no way I can be with her. But I have to try. That's why I'm doing it tonight," he continues.

"It's like a coming of age film. Driving all night to go get the girl, and you and your best friend confesses to the same girl. It's cliché, but it's good. Don't you think, [Name]?" He lets out a short chuckle and turns to you. Instead of seeing the soft-hearted smile that he is used to seeing whenever he talks about the certain volleyball manager, he is met with a dark expression on your face, and a frown painted across your lips.

"[Name]...?" He called out, reaching out to you. You moved away from his touch and he retreated his hand away, startled at the sudden change of mood. The temperature suddenly drops, the breeze gushing in the scene.

"Oi, you guys! We're back!" You hear Tanaka yell from the distance, their footsteps almost echoing across the expanse. Nishinoya turned to the direction of his voice, "Let's go, [Name], they're back. Let's get to the car and do that coming of age confession scene, huh?" He said, attempting to sound cheerful with his hand outstretched to you. 

"You're not in a coming of age film, Noya," you murmur, "What? [Name], I can't hear what you're saying," he replied, cocking his head in confusion. 

You whipped your head towards him, your eyes glassy from the tears threatening to fall, and your teeth biting down on your bottom lip. "[Name]? What's wrong?" He asked, his brows furrowing at the sight of you. He never saw you so... helpless ever in his life. 

In a swift movement, you stood from the curb, "You are so dense, huh Nishinoya Yū?" You spoke, marching your way towards the other side of the car. The brunet was startled by your usage of his full name, but he was quick on his feet and followed you to the other side. "[Name]! What's wrong?" He asked.

"This isn't some sort of coming of age film, Noya! Stop acting like you're in one!"

**► 7:40 PM**

"I honestly don't mind that you're confessing at the same time as I do, but you should've told me earlier so that we can plan this out together. But come to think of it, Noya-san..." Tanaka trailed off, "Do you really want to confess?" 

Nishinoya straightened up from his trance, "What do you mean?" He asked.

Tanaka sighed, "You don't get it, huh?"

Nishinoya cocked his head blankly while Tanaka glanced at his sister driving, "Everyone can see that you don't actually like Kiyoko-san," he continued. Nishinoya blinked confusedly at him, "Eh? Ryū, what are you saying?" He replied, completely lost.

"It's obvious that you're just using Kiyoko-san to hide your feelings for [Surname]-san," Tanaka replied bluntly. Nishinoya's eyes widened and his body rested on the seat, breath getting caught in his throat. "I don't get why you always talk about Kiyoko-san when you're around [Surname]-san, but whenever [Surname]-san isn't around all you talk about is [Surname]-san." Tanaka looked behind to face Nishinoya, his right index finger raised, "You hear me, Noya-san?" He asked, staring at the startled boy in the seat. "I-I don't get it. I know I like Kiyoko-san..." Nishinoya mumbled, his eyes trailing to the cup holder in front of him. 

"Remember our game after Shiratorizawa last Spring Tournament?" Tanaka asked, his finger wagging in the air. Nishinoya nodded mindlessly, "Immediately after the game, you rush first to meet [Surname]-san and hug her instead of freshening up for the awarding ceremony," Tanaka snickered at the memory, "Even [Surname]-san was complaining about how sweaty you are." Tanaka continued with imitating your voice cheekily, seeing Nishinoya's discomfort, he laughed out loud, "And during the celebration, all you can talk about is [Surname]-san and how you wanted to watch a movie with her that night even though you were exhausted. Tsukishima had to plug his ears with all your comments about [Surname]-san and Dai-san had to shut you up." Tanaka snickered at the memory, Nishinoya sat still in his seat, unable to process the words given to him. 

"Hear me, Noya-san?" Tanaka said in a firm tone. Nishinoya weakly nodded, "Then, why is she mad at me, still?" Tanaka rolled his eyes, turning his head back to the road, "Do I have to spell it out for you?" He sighed, "[Surname]-san likes you, it's so obvious that even Hinata and Kageyama noticed, and they're both dumbasses."

Nishinoya widened his eyes at his words, "Then..."

**► 1:19 PM**

"Don't worry, [Name]! I won't put you in any harm!" He declared, a thumb pointed to his chest. You chuckled at his declaration, "I know you would protect me, Noya! You're always so reliable!" You reply, a blush adorning your cheeks. Nishinoya chuckled, "I'm reliable, don't you think?" He asked a grin stretched across his face, you nodded in reply. "Yeah! I would definitely go on that trip as long as I'm with you, Noya," you reply, the beating of your heart pacing. "Nice! Then let's get your stuff so that we can meet Kiyoko-san already!" 

The mention of your upperclassman causes your heart to drop, of course, he would travel far for her, not to hang out with you. Despite his hand wrapped around your wrist as he dragged you outside his home, you could only feel the pain piercing through your heart. 

**► TWO DAYS AGO**

"S-Still! Can we watch something else? I want to see 500 Days of Summer. It's getting late too," you said, watching him go back to the couch. "Maybe next time, [Name]!" He said, plopping down beside you, grabbing the other end of the blanket to cover his frame. You softly smile at him as his stare stayed on the television, waiting for the movie to start. "Alright, Noya. I love this movie too, I guess I can watch it again with you," you say, nestling yourself in the warmth of the blanket wrapped around the two of you. No matter how many times you shared a blanket with your best friend, the idea still sent your heart up in the air. 

"I knew you would just say that, [Name]! You love this movie," he replied, filling his mouth with chips. You gave a bright grin at him, your eyes closing momentarily and you miss the light pink spreading on his cheeks. He munched on his chips and turned back to the television, "I wonder if Kiyoko-san would also love this movie..." He mumbled as he chewed on the food, enough for you to hear. You swear you could also hear the breaking of your heart at his words.

**► 2:27 pm**

Nishinoya screamed incoherent words with tears in his eyes as he waited for you to exit the bathroom of a gasoline station. "[Name], I'm so sorry for vomiting all over you! [Name], I'm so sorry!" He yelled, continuously beating on the door. Saeko rolled her eyes, grabbing him by the collar of his jacket and pulling him away from the door, "Let the girl change her clothes in peace!" Saeko reprimanded, a brow raised at the teary-eyed Nishinoya.

"B-but Saeko nee-san—"

"Yū-chan, she's fine!" She assured, patting the smaller male's back almost forcefully. Nishinoya was about to speak up again until the bathroom door clicked. The two whipped their heads towards the door, "[Name]!" Nishinoya cried out as you exited the bathroom. He halted in his steps when he saw you in a different outfit from earlier. With your black graphic shirt tucked inside your black plaid skirt and your red jacket tied loosely around your waist, it just took his breath away. "Noya, you were too loud while I was changing," you complained, with a plastic bag containing your dirty clothes in hand.

Nishinoya blinked out of his trance and Saeko smirked at him, noticing the way his small blush never left his cheeks. "[Name]! I'm so sorry!" He cried out, rushing to hug you. Even though he just vomited all over you, you welcomed him in your arms, "Noya, it's alright! I told you, I expected it! That's why I brought a change of clothes!" You said followed by a chuckle. He buried his face deeper in your chest and you could feel his tears staining your shirt, "My vomit must've been disgusting!" He cried, "Yeah it was," you giggled, placing your hand on top of his hair, careful not to mess up the spikes. You thread your hand through the strands of his hair, slowly massaging his scalp in assurance. Your giggle and actions caused a hitch in Nishinoya's breathing and Saeko noticed this, her smirk growing wider, a hand placed on her hip in amusement. 

"Are you okay, Noya? You're not dizzy anymore?" You ask him, stroking his hair lovingly. He shook his head in your embrace, "I'm okay now. I should've listened to you too. How come you're thinking of me when I puked all over you?" He mumbled, relishing in your scent. You chuckled at his words, "I told you, I'm fine and I brought a change of clothes. I should be the one asking you if you're okay 'cause you were so out of it earlier."

Nishinoya pulled himself away from your embrace and looked at you with teary eyes, "You're not mad?" You shook your head, "Of course not! I wouldn't get mad over something so little, Noya!" You reply. The brunet's smile faltered and went into full thinking mode, with his hands on his chin, "Noya?" You asked him, "What are you thinking about?" You continued.

"I just wonder if Kiyoko-san would hate me for life if I puke all over her."

You bit your bottom lip and brushed past him, ignoring his words. Saeko noticed the way your lips turned upside down in a matter of seconds. You entered the car while Saeko and Nishinoya were still outside. You let out a sigh as you slouched on the seat. "You okay, [Surname]-san?" Tanaka asked you, turning his head to look at you. "Oh," you straightened your posture, "Yeah, I guess. Noya's mentioning Kiyoko-san again."

Tanaka turned his head back to the front, "Huh. That's weird, just a second ago you were all lovey-dovey with your embrace," he mumbled. You shake your head, "Yeah. I thought for this time he won't mention her. He always mentions her. It's almost degrading at this point," you mumble, pursing your lips. Tanaka sighed, "Sorry that you have to like an airhead like Noya-san. He'll notice your feelings soon," he said empathically.

"I hope so, Tanaka," you reply as your eyes land on the brunet jogging towards the car.

**► 7:42 PM**

Nishinoya's breathing is unsteady at the slow intrusion of the memories playing in his mind. "[Name] likes me...?" He mumbled, his eyes trailing to the window. He noticed that ever since [Name] left the group, Saeko is driving unusually slow. He bit his bottom lip, "And I... like her too?" He continued, his eyes wide open. Tanaka sighed, "Yeah, dummy. The whole team is even talking about it," he replied, leaning his head on the car headrest. 

Nishinoya straightened his posture and it seems like he just had an epiphany over something so obvious. "Saeko nee-san, turn around!" He exclaimed. Tanaka sputtered out incoherent words, "N-Noya-san— Wha—"

"We need to get back to [Name]! I need to tell her something!" His fists balled on his sides and the flash of determination shone in his eyes. Saeko shot a glimpse at him at the rearview mirror, "No."

"Wha— Saeko nee-san!"

"Nee-san is right, Noya! Even if we turn around, how are we so sure that we can get to [Surname]-san? She's probably on her way home!" Tanaka intervened, trying to rationalize his best friend's cluttered thoughts. 

"But I can't leave her alone, Ryū! I promised her mom that I will bring her home safely! I-I can't let her go home while she's hurting because of me..." Nishinoya has never felt so helpless in his life. He regrets letting you walk away at the gasoline station. He regrets not noticing your feelings beforehand. He regrets hurting you. He clenched his fists tighter, his nails digging into the palm of his hand. He feels like he's about to burst.

Saeko audibly huffed, a hand on the end of the lollipop, she popped it out of her mouth. "Oi Ryū," she called out. Tanaka turned to her, "Huh?"

"See if my phone has any messages."

"What's that gotta do with Noya-san and—"

"Just hurry up!" His sister's octave higher voice caused him to fumble in his seat and take Saeko's phone resting on the cupholder. Unlocking the phone, he spoke, "You have two messages, nee-san."

"From who?" She replied. 

Tanaka gasped at the sender and looked at Nishinoya, "From [Surname]-san."

Nishinoya's eyes widened and he placed his hands on both the driver's seat and passenger's seat eagerly. "Read it out loud," his sister demanded. 

Tanaka opened the message and spoke, "Hi, Saeko nee-san. I'm currently resting at a coffee shop by the train station. I checked the schedule and I was right on time for the train but I decided to clear out my thoughts first." The brunet gaped at Tanaka, "Read the second one!" He demanded, "Alright, hold on!" Tanaka said, moving onto the second message, "I'll take the last train to Miyagi at 8:00 PM instead. Maybe the city lights at night would help me cope with everything that's happening. I'll text you when I get to the train."

Saeko smirked at the shell-shocked expression written on the boys' faces. "Nee-san, how'd you do that!?" They exclaimed simultaneously. The female snickered, "When she left, I texted her that she informs me of the places she'll go to so that I can ensure her safety. I told her that she text me at every station she'll stop by and if she gets home. It's a girl's thing, y' know."

"Then..." Nishinoya spoke, "Can you please turn around now? I have to see her."

**► 7:42 PM**

You sigh blissfully as you sniffed the wafting scent of caffeine lingering in the air. Pink petals fell from the sky as you gaze upon the warmly-illuminated edifice. You get into a heated debate with yourself whether to order another cookie to stay longer in the comforts of the coffee shop. Your thoughts were cut off by the sounds of the glass door swinging open and the bell chimes echoing across the place. You let out a small huff and glanced at your wristwatch, careful not to lose track of time. The barista from the counter slowly makes his way towards you, and you hear his footsteps padding across the mahogany flooring.

You slowly turn your head at the blonde barista when his shadow loomed over yours, "Hello," he greeted nicely, placing a plate of cookies in front of you. "O-oh! There's no need—" You stammer with your hands waving across you. He dismissed you with a warm smile, "It's on the house, no worries!" He replied. You smiled nicely at him, "Thank you for this," you softly said.

"Waiting for someone?" He asked, placing his hands behind him. You shake your head, "I'm just waiting for my schedule on the train."

He nodded, "You're going out of town, I suppose?" He asks again and you chuckle as you shake your head, a warm smile painted on your face, "No, I'm going back home."

He nods politely at your response and beams at you, "Well, I hope you enjoy your stay here for a while. If there's any problem, please do not hesitate to approach me," he said and you nodded at his words. He turned his heel and went back to the counter. 

You scan the place, taking note of the little details. The plastic succulents and unlit scented candles are placed on top of the middle of the tables, and the lamps hanging from the ceiling emitting the warm lighting almost felt like home. The musky scent of the caffeine spreading across the establishment sending signals down to your system to calm down. It was a good choice to stay at a cafe for a while before heading to the train, it's a moment where you could share with yourself.

You smiled as you take the cookie from the plate, slicing a piece of it with a fork and popping it in your mouth. The sweet delectable flavor bursting in your mouth with the chocolate melting in your tongue. The cookie has got to be the best cookie you had eaten in a while.

After you finished your cookie and you're halfway through your drink, you glance at the view outside the window. Tokyo seemed so different from Miyagi, with all the bright lights and bustling streets, you feel so out of place, being used to the quiet swaying of the trees and flowers in the fields. It was all so different compared to the vivid colors of Tokyo with cars zooming by and people filling the streets.

You can't help but miss home. 

You stare at the towering buildings in front of you, the dark blue sky being engulfed with thick clouds made you bite your bottom lip in worry.

You can't help but remember a painful memory that dates back to last year. 

It was a week before the examinations would commence so you decided to go home early. And even though Nishinoya begged you to watch practice and walk back home with him, you had to turn it down, because you had to focus on reviewing for the dreaded tests. It was a particularly sunny day, so you didn't have any trouble getting home. However, just 10 minutes before volleyball practice usually ends, rain began to beat down on your windows. You immediately took your phone and texted your best friend about it, worried that he might have to trudge home under the rain. After two minutes, Nishinoya replied to your text with a: 

_I forgot to bring my umbrella >:(( We're stranded here at school :(_

Without any hesitation, you slammed your books close and snatched a jacket from your closet, even grabbing a clean one for Nishinoya. Jogging downstairs while simultaneously wearing your jacket and holding the spare one, you took the two umbrellas resting beside the doorway. You call out to your mom that you'll just fetch Nishinoya from school and despite the rain, your mother bid you goodbye. It was Nishinoya you were fetching, after all. Your mother just has a soft spot for him. 

You did your best to trek the slippery roads as fast as you can, forgetting to even text Nishinoya since you were in a hurry. The rain wasn't even an obstacle for you, you just wanted to see Nishinoya safe and sound. You didn't want him to get wet because he had to go home under the threat of the shower. You didn't want him to get sick, especially since he is the Guardian Deity of the Karasuno Volleyball Team. Despite your jacket being soaked from the rainfall, you kept the spare jacket close to your chest for it to stay dry. You didn't want Nishinoya to wear such cold and uncomfortable clothing. The freezing wind sent shivers down to your body, your fingers were trembling but you held tight on the umbrella, determined to reach Nishinoya in such short notice.

Upon reaching the gates of Karasuno where the volleyball team would usually exit, you tilted your head upwards to search for a certain brunet. Your breathing is unsteady and hurried with anxiety, worried that he already got home with no protective gear against the bad weather.

Your breath hitched when you spot the familiar brunet with a wild streak of blond in the darkness of the campus. But the words get stuck in your throat when you see his hand resting on top of their manager's, clutching onto an umbrella that they shared. Despite the dim lighting, you can clearly see the pink hues adorning his cheeks and both the fondness and shock in his eyes as he gazed up to the upperclassman. A sharp pain pierced through your heart as you embraced the warm, dry, jacket in your chest. The constant pitter-patters of the rain hitting against the pavement and onto your umbrella as you stared at the two. Nishinoya seemed to be lost in the moment, you know him too well that you can already tell the words running around his mind. You bet that he thinks that this is the 'coming of age film moment' that he is finally living up to.

And you wonder to yourself why you're putting yourself in this torment.

But you can't seem to tear your gaze away from them.

Kiyoko began to spoke, it was short, but you can tell that she offered him to share under the umbrella because of the reaction that Nishinoya drew out from his face. You can see the gleam in his eyes and the smile he's been fighting back as he nods at her words.

Letting out a shaky breath after holding it in for god knows how long, a warm drop streamed down your cheek. You thought at first it was just the rain until you realized that you were letting out hushed whimpers with tears streaming down your cheeks. You held the jacket to your mouth to quiet down your weeping despite the rain being loud enough to shut out your noises. You were frozen in your spot, unable to think of anything but the feeling of your heart shattering into pieces. You felt your chest tighten and you gripped onto the jacket, your fingertips hurting from all the force. Your breathing was unsteady and if it were not for the rain and jacket against your wailing lips, you would've been heard by the whole neighborhood. 

As soon as Nishinoya and Kiyoko started moving from their place, your foot stepped back instinctively, your slipper taking the wrong step, causing you to slip behind, falling on your bottom. Your eyes widened at the noise you made and the impact of the cold wet ground seeping through your pajama pants.

"What was that?" You hear Nishinoya yell, their footsteps pacing against the puddles. With adrenaline and panic coursing through your veins, you scrambled to your feet and hid your face under the shadows of your umbrella. Without even thinking, you turned your heel and hurriedly paced back home, the jacket still pressed against your mouth, and the tears flowing down your cheeks. 

You have no idea how they got to stay behind, Tanaka was nowhere to be seen, neither the first-years who are usually behind late. You couldn't even think of other delightful moments, your mind only zoned in on the idea that you're foolish for letting yourself think that Nishinoya shared the same feelings as you do.

And ironically, the jacket never got saturated from the rain or your impact from earlier. But the stains from your tears were evident on one side of the jacket. 

You sigh as you tilted your head upwards to gaze at the ceiling of the coffee shop. It's been so long since that incident, you thought. That incident has got to be the most explicit way of life showing you how painful loving someone could be. You remember sobbing in your pillow that night with your pajamas still damp from your fall. But the slight pain from your bottom and ankles were insurmountable to the arrow piercing through your heart. Your mind flashed the images of Nishinoya gazing up at Kiyoko, and you can't blame your upperclassman for all of this. She's kind and incredibly graceful, you can't bring yourself to hate her. She was, after all, just helping her underclassman.

But still, the tightness in your chest won't go away when you remember Nishinoya's loving gaze at her. You could only wish that he looked at you the same way, but you know it was too good to be true.

Your mind was muddled with the thoughts of him and the heaviness in your heart settling in. And yet, you're here in Tokyo because you thought traveling a hundred miles away from home with the man you adored was the best thing that you could have before school starts again. You couldn't believe that you let yourself get hurt again. 

You can't believe that you're still in love with the same boy that wouldn't even look your way.

You screwed your eyes shut and shook your head, getting rid of all the self-pity thoughts running through your mind. You downed your drink and stood up, the sound of the chair skidding across the wooden flooring caught the barista's attention. He was about to exit the counter and approach you to ask you what's wrong but the moment he placed a hand on the counter's door, you were already out of the coffee shop.

_**To: Saeko nee-san** _

_**From: [Nickname]-chan** _

_**Subject: Train details** _

_**Hi, Saeko nee-san. You're probably driving right now and you won't be able to read my message but I'm on my way to the train station. Here's my train ticket for safety measures.** _

_**[image attached]** _

You sat on one of the benches on the platform, waiting for your train to arrive. You leaned your head on the wall behind you as you plugged in your earphones. You were too tired to even specifically pick a song so instead, you tapped on your recently listened playlist and set it on shuffle.

You scoffed when the playlist decided to play a song that heavily reminds you of Nishinoya and his obsession with coming of age films.

The Starting Line: The Best of Me  
0:00 ●━━━━━━──────── 4:18  
⇆ㅤㅤㅤ ◁ㅤㅤ❚❚ㅤㅤ▷ㅤㅤㅤㅤ↻

You tried not to let the song get to you, and focused calming your mind as you waited for the train to arrive.

At least three minutes left before the train would arrive on time.

You relished in the song while the slight breeze kissed your skin. You wrapped your arms around you for warmth, you regret wearing a skirt, the chilly spring weather during the evening slipped from your mind when you were picking an article of extra clothing. You adjusted the strap of your backpack as soon as the light from the train passing by almost blinded your eyes.

You stood from your seat and waited for the train to halt, your hand still gripping on the backpack strap and the other on your phone. As the doors opened, you took a vacant seat on the farthest end of the carriage with the door to the next carriage beside your seats. You removed your backpack from your shoulders and placed it on your lap, your head resting on the window behind you.

The song ended as soon as the train doors shut closed, the song that followed annoyed you even more because this song reminded you of the nights where you stayed over at Nishinoya's and you would just blast out songs from this certain playlist.

Wheatus: Teenage Dirtbag  
0:00 ●━━━━━━──────── 4:01  
⇆ㅤㅤㅤ ◁ㅤㅤ❚❚ㅤㅤ▷ㅤㅤㅤㅤ↻

Nishinoya huffed a breath as he managed to squeeze into one of the train carriages. His hands are on his knees as he breathed heavily, the train conductor announced their next stop, and the common precautionary measures while on the ride. He was just right in time. If he hadn't made up his mind and almost forced Saeko to step on the gas he wouldn't have made it. He could only pray that Saeko and Tanaka don't get chased by the cops.

He held on the railing beside him as he struggled to catch his breath from all the running. He straightened his posture and scanned the train, he was certain that he just saw your figure enter the same train carriage as he just did, if he did enter the wrong one, however, he would have to deal with long grueling hours of sitting on the train alone. He scanned from left to right, wondering where you would be seated.

He figured he would look for you first on his left.

Even when the train began moving, he paced through the carriage, his hand grabbing onto the railings and examining each face he passes by. As soon as he sees the door to the other carriage, he seems to lose hope. Nervousness began to bubble in his chest. But it soon faltered when he meets your figure, your head resting on the window behind you with your eyes screwed shut, your arms embracing your backpack, and your lips mouthing the lyrics of the song you're listening to. A wide grin spreads on his face and exhilaration blossoms in his system. There was still some space in the seat but the people beside you had spaces in between them, careful not to invade the others' privacy. 

He didn't care about that shit.

He asked for the middle-aged woman to let him squeeze in between you and her, and luckily, the woman agreed. He thanked her immediately when she slides to the side, letting him squeeze between you and him. You weren't paying attention to the environment around you, you were too invested with the song. 

When the bridge of the song came, your hands gripped tighter on your bag and phone. 

Nishinoya peered curiously into your phone, his eyes lighting up at the title of the song. "Woah, that song is amazing," he mumbled, the edges of his lips curving upward.

You felt warm breath fanning your hand, shivers ran down your spine in anxiety. Your eyes flew open, whipping your head to the person invading your privacy, your breath hitching at the sight of an all familiar brunet almost leaning into you. You blinked confusedly at him while he just stared at you with his wide brown eyes. Your eyes widened upon realization of who the brunet is. You yanked your earphones out of your ears, "What the hell are you doing here?" You hissed under your breath, scooting further away from him. Your sides were hit with the wall of the carriage, "You're not supposed to be here!" You added, your forehead creasing in frustration.

"I'm here to bring you back home!" He declared, sitting upright to meet your posture. Your brows furrowed deeper, waiting for him to continue, "What about Kiyoko-senpai?" You ask, avoiding contact with his skin. Nishinoya tilted his head sidewards, "What about her?" he asked. 

You groaned, rolling your eyes, and raised a brow at him, "You traveled hundreds of miles to meet her and 'confess' your feelings to her. Don't play dumb with me," you snarled. "And how did you even get here?" You shook your head in disbelief, "You know what? Don't answer that question. Just tell me what brings you here," you demanded, clutching your bag and phone close to you. The wires of your earphones tangling between your fingers.

Nishinoya blinked at you, "I'm here to bring you home," he said, quieter than the first time he said it. Your brows furrowed, "What about Kiyoko-senpai?"

"You're more important, you think I'm going to let you go home by yourself?" Nishinoya replied. 

You rolled your eyes, "I mean that's what it seemed like to me earlier," you say, folding your arms across your chest. You huffed, "You're a terrible liar, Nishinoya." 

The brunet flinched at the usage of his full name and he pursed his lips, "I just—I haven't thought about this part," he said and you would've laughed if you weren't fed up with the feeling of unrequited love. You huffed a breath and rolled your eyes, turning your gaze to the window across you. "I'm assuming Tanaka will go on to meet Kiyoko-senpai?" You asked, Nishinoya only mustered a nod. You stared at the whizzing city lights as you waited for Nishinoya to explain himself.

Nishinoya followed your gaze, his hands dropping to his lap. He heaves a deep breath, "I just think I like you, [Name]."

Your breathing hitched at his words and the familiar pain struck to your chest, your fingers gripped tighter on your belongings as you whipped your head towards him. The glare that you sent him causes him to widen his eyes, "You can't just talk about Kiyoko-senpai over and over in front of my face and then telling me you like me," you said. 

"I-I know! And I'm sorry that I have to drag you to Tokyo for me to realize that I actually like you," he replied. You shake your head in disbelief, "Your endgame was just to get Kiyoko-senpai, right? Because coming of age films always told you to get the pretty girl and then everything will be fine. So why, after all this time, you're telling me that you like me? Because you decided to give up on chasing after Kiyoko-senpai and just opt for the lower girl, is that it?"

"No! I never thought of you as someone lower than Kiyoko-san!" He exclaimed under hushed breaths.

"You always, _always_ told me how Kiyoko-senpai is the most beautiful girl in the world and how no one compares to her. You never fail to talk about her or even think about her when we are together! You always gush over her despite me trying my best to be there for you. Don't you think that hurts me?" You ask him, tears welling up in your eyes. You screwed your eyes shut and leaned your head back to the window behind you, sighing. "Look, it's obvious. You're the protagonist, I'm the side character, Kiyoko-senpai's the goal. I'm the best friend who likes the protagonist but is _just_ not enough for him so I draw my line and just be the best friend. I get the scenario you're painting, Noya."

You shot a glance at him without moving your head, "But I'm tired of that narrative, Noya. And it's the little things that you do or say about Kiyoko-senpai that feed the pain. I guess what finished me off is the fact that you're ready to ruin a good friendship for a girl," you scoffed, closing your eyes again, "And the time when I caught you with Kiyoko-senpai under the rain while I brought you a spare warm jacket and an umbrella."

Nishinoya froze at your words, his eyes zoning on the sight across him. "Y-You were there?" He stammered, his mind beginning to replay the memory. "Yep," you reply, popping the p. "Almost every time you needed me, I was there, Noya," you said, your chest slowly rising upon the beat of your breathing, "I'm sure you've already picked up the fact that I like you, but..." You trail off, slowly opening your eyes to look at him. He turned his head at you, his brows furrowed, "But you can't just reciprocate someone's feelings just because you pity me or people want you to," you sighed, careful not to disturb the other passengers.

"W-What? I don't pity you, [Name], and—"

"Oh, don't lie, Noya. You can't mention the same girl over and over again to a different girl then tell her that you like her instead. That's straight-up bullshit." 

The two sat in silence, the sounds of the train passing through the railway, and the hushed breathing of passengers filled the air. Nishinoya wasn't sure how to feel now that he's heard your side of the story. He felt guilt bubbling in his chest, especially with all of the pain he must have put you in. He's not sure anymore how to deal with this situation. He sighed and leaned back, his head resting on the window behind him and his eyes glued to the skyline passing by. 

"I'm sorry for causing you any pain, [Name]..." He trailed off, his fingers fiddling with the hem of his jacket. He glanced at you, your features softened with your eyes closed and breathing steady. He figured you were asleep and there was no point in talking but he can't just sit in silence and his guilt. 

"You're probably asleep now after such a long day but let me talk, okay...?" He said in a hushed voice, leaning his head on the window behind him. He glanced at each railing on the train and the tired faces on the resting people. His mind cluttered of things that he wanted to say and it was overflowing, not knowing where to start first. He let out a soft chuckle, "I don't even know what to talk about."

He glimpsed at your phone and earphone cables tangled in between your fingers, your bag resting on top of your lap. Some of the delicate skin on your thighs peeked through your bag and he can see your legs slowly parting in relaxation. He glanced at the air conditioner above the two of you and he knew you must be cold underneath the breeze. He blinked blankly before taking off his jacket, careful not to hit the resting middle-aged woman beside him. His eyes are still fixated on your thighs as he laid out his jacket in front of him. "I'll put my jacket on top of your lap, okay, [Name]?" He said. 

Nishinoya turned his attention back at you, slowly lifting your bag with his right hand, careful not to wake you up while he placed his jacket on top of your lap. Once he felt satisfied with the skin covered, he placed your bag back to where it previously was. He sighed, leaning his head back to the window behind him. "You must be cold," he said slowly closing his eyes.

"I still don't know what to say," he lets out a soft chuckle, opening his eyes with his brows furrowed. "Maybe it's because I'm scared that I might hurt you again with my words or I would say the wrong things and I would lose you."

"Even though you're asleep right now," he continued, a smile adorning his lips before turning into a frown, "I wouldn't want to lose my film buddy."

Silence fell on the brunet, unsure of what to say next. "Love is a pretty odd thing, no?" He asked, folding his arms across his chest. "I was certain I liked Kiyoko-san, I was certain a lot of people knew too," he continued, his eyes trained on the passing lights from the city. "I didn't know that you were mostly the name that came out of my mouth when you're not around," he chuckled, resting his hands on top of his lap. "It took Tanaka for me to realize that. I wouldn't have realized that I like you if you hadn't told me and left. But..." He let out a soft sigh, "I think it's too late now. I've hurt you too much by mentioning Kiyoko-san all over and making it seem like she's the perfect girl for me."

There was a brief pause as he fiddled on his fingers, "But you're the perfect girl for me, [Name]," he whispered as if he was scared somebody else might hear.

"You always come to my games even when I don't tell you, always watch the cheesy coming of age films with me, helping me out on my homework, I just—" he sighed in defeat, shaking his head.

"I just wish I knew how my feelings worked earlier so that I didn't have to hurt you. And..." He bit his bottom lip in contemplation, "I know you probably don't like me anymore but... Will you at least stay as a friend?" He turned his head towards you, analyzing your features, "It's alright if you don't want to be friends anymore, I'll—" He gulped, as if he didn't want to say the following words, "I'll still watch over you from afar." 

He turned his head back to the front, tilting them upwards, "That hurt just by saying it," he mumbled under his breath. "But I'm pretty sure your heart is already riddled with pain too because of me. I think I would understand if you chose yourself this time," he continued mindlessly, not even noticing that you fluttered your eyes open, staring at the same space above you as he does. "I mean, I dragged you along to Tokyo for a girl for Christ's sake," he scoffed, "Now we're going home because I didn't reflect on my feelings and the words I let out enough." 

"We're going to be third-years in a few days now... It still feels surreal," he rambled, still fixated on the empty space above him. "I don't think I would've thought high school without volleyball is worthwhile if it weren't for you by my side."

Silence fell on the two, with their steady breathing, and the train skidding across the tracks, it all felt like it would last a lifetime. 

"I don't want to be a burden to you," you suddenly spoke, causing Nishinoya to flinch and scoot an inch away from you, "I thought you were asleep," he replied, a hand clutched over his pacing heart. His eyes fixated over your figure, your head still leaning on the window behind you with your eyes half-lidded. You shook your head, not bothering to look at him, "I was awake the whole time, you think I fall asleep that easily?" You snickered. Nishinoya waited for you to continue.

"You have a huge volleyball career ahead of you," you said as-a-matter-of-factly followed by a scoff, shaking your head in disbelief, "And who am I to share that part of you in your life? I feel like I'm just disrespecting your passion, Noya."

Nishinoya wanted to disagree, he wanted to protest, but he let you finish. His hands resting on top of his lap as he turned his gaze in front of him. Your longing gaze told him that you had something more to say, "Kiyoko-senpai would be better at helping you out. I guess that's why you're head over heels for her. And it hurt knowing that I couldn't amount to her level," you let out a pained chuckle, slowly closing your eyes. 

"But—"

"But you like _me_ and I'm not a burden," you cut him off, "I find it hard to believe that an amazing person like you would like such... a person like me. It's hard to believe when everything I see is different from what you've told and shown to me."

Nishinoya furrowed his brows, there was no way he could change your perspective tonight. He's done enough damage.

"But this is what I wanted, Noya," you turned your head to him and he followed suit, his eyes gazing into your longing pools, "I liked you the first time that I saw you. Remember that? In middle school?" You asked, a soft smile on your face. He nodded, remembering how the two of you met during the last year of middle school, "And I thought, at that moment, that just a little bit of love from this boy could mean so much. And guess what? I eventually got it, Noya. You let me enter your life," you continued.

You pursed your lips, your eyes dropping to his clothed torso, "But when you started talking about Kiyoko-senpai when we got to Karasuno... Everything shifted." Your fingers fiddled with the cloth of the jacket resting on your lap, "I remember praying every night that someone in the heavens wouldn't take it all away. I was pleading to them so that I wouldn't lose you." There was a brief pause, and your eyes darted back to his hazel orbs, "Then I realized, just by being with you, heaven is still close enough to touch. And I guess that's fine with me."

Nishinoya widened his eyes at your words, "W-What do you mean, [Name]?" He asked, straightening his posture and his hands resting on top of yours. "I don't know either, Noya. Would you help me clear out my thoughts?" You ask, straightening your posture as well with a half-hearted smile painted your lips with furrowed brows. 

Nishinoya took both of your hands, gripping on your soft skin tightly, holding above his chest, "Would you let me take care of you then?" He asked you as if he was declaring it with pink hues tinting his cheeks. You raised a brow playfully at him, "You're lucky, don't you think?" You started, closing your eyes, "You got on the right train, and just in the nick of time too. Your love interest forgives you despite your mistakes and she still can't help but adore you even after everything."

You opened your eyes again, only to find Nishinoya smiling softly at you, tears pricking his eyes, "You're not mad at me?" He asked. You shake your head, the corners of your lips turning upwards, "You still like me?" He asked again, eliciting a breathy laugh from you, "I think so, yeah," you reply, his fingers clutching tightly on yours. "Would you date me then?" He asked and you gave him an uncertain smile, "I know you wouldn't get in the way of my volleyball, [Name]. I think you would even push me to do better," he continued and you could only stare at his gaze.

You wondered if what he's saying is true, that you wouldn't be a burden to him after all.

"Please date me," he repeated, his huge brown orbs staring into your pools with such determination and adoration, making you giggle.

_Ah, what the hell._

You chuckled. "Sure, why not? Who am I to turn down the guardian deity of Karasuno?" You said, and he peered close at your face with a beaming smile, "Really?!" He asked, eliciting a giggle from you, "Yeah, Noya," you reply. He inhaled a deep breath, a huge grin stretched across his face, "I guess I'm a protagonist in a coming of age film after all huh? With the luck that I have today, I'm pretty sure I'm the protagonist and I just got the happy ending," He said, holding your hands across his beating heart. Your fingertips grazing against his shirt and you can feel the rapid pacing of his heart through your skin. You can't help but chuckle at his words, "Shut up, Noya."

**Author's Note:**

> hi! i finally got to ao3 after years of contemplating. this will be my first work uploaded here and i hope you guys like it! i'm still trying to get used to the site thank you for reading coming of age!


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